2.19.2011

you cannot undo this action.



when wanting to delete these pictures from my computer, i found the question i was asked to be ironic. "are you sure you want to delete these 279 photos permanently? You cannot undo this action."

so the pictures may be out of my iphoto and off of my facebook for good, but that's just the thing. my mind doesn't have a "delete permanently" button. it has a "wake up every morning and tell yourself you're doing the right thing button." it has a "listen to music about being better off without him" button. it has a "all of these scars are going to make you stronger one day" button. it has a "spend every waking moment completely submersed in other things" button. it has a "you live and you learn" button. it has a "convince yourself there were hundreds of things you didn't like about him button." it has a "try, try, try, try, to forget the happy times" button. but there is no "delete" button in my life. that is not an option that one click of a mouse can solve. i can play break up songs, and yell cuss words, and party with my girls, and make a list of things that i want in a guy, and burn all of his pictures, but at the end of the day, i will always love him, forever remember him, and never delete him, despite everything.




3 comments:

  1. Ughhh I was just thinking about this. Well not about THAT per se, but about what happens when you have all these good memories but no one to share them with, because the people in them are gone or different or don't want to share them with you? It's freaking depressing.

    But I don't remember things from 7th grade as well as I do things from 12th and I'm hoping that as time goes, on I won't remember the things from high school as well as the things from college, and so on. Not that I want to forget everything, but I just think it gets easier to let go as time goes on AND as you make more memories with people who won't necessarily walk out the door right after you empty out your lockers and turn your tassel...

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  2. yeah, it is FREAKING depressing. probably one of the most depressing things i've ever experienced. haha. but you know my memory, christine.. i DON'T forget things. i remember things about 7th grade about as well as i remember things from yesterday. and that literally makes me sick.

    but i CAN'T wait to spend these next however many years surrounded by my REAL friends/sisterwives (haha) and just have the time of our lives! and who really knows if zach will wind up being a part of my future? i am a firm believer in second chances, and forgiving and forgetting, as are you. so i'm just gonna live it up right now, and see where god takes me. (:

    I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. (:

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  3. Awe, Aly girl... I love you. I'm glad that you're choosing to wake up every morning & to breath in & out. I myself don't know what I'd without you, I'm very thankful for you & the good times that we have gotten to share together. :)

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